As a widowed mother of five myself, knowing I would happily give up my hearing to have my husband back, I am sure the SIL has no idea what a disability is.

Sadly, as time goes by, she’s going to learn.

EDIT: reading that back to myself, i certainly don’t mean to underestimate the difficulties faced by the deaf. But deafness in and of itself is not debilitating - with support and acceptance, there is no limit to their abilities.

What I _did_ mean to imply was that somebody should be regularly checking in on SIL’s kids. With five different backgrounds and only one (grieving) parent, they’re in for a _really_ tough time. The fact that SIL seems to think SO’s baby is at risk makes me wonder where her own competency lies.